put a fucking bag on your head and sleep you god damn piece of shit
take a nap on a fucking ski lift
Things that make you happy; 3 days old baby otter.
Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.
getting that thing in the mail like
Sometime ago I took that picture of a really fat pidgeon. Even today I’m asking to myself, can that pigeon fly?
i fly just to spite you
This is so accurate it hurts